9 Period Truths That You Need to Accept Before Calling Me a Bitch

Since the beginning of time, or at least since the beginning of Eve’s first menstrual cycle, men and even plenty of women have been quick to throw shade at the unfortunate hormonal attitude that often accompanies a woman’s period.

Women are constantly battling rude remarks such as “You must be on your period” or “Oh, is it that time of the month?” and another common annoyance is the accusation that being on your period is just an excuse to act like a bitch. Or a justification for you calling me a bitch (never).

No, my period isn’t an excuse for me to act like a bitch, my insides are on just on fire. Accept these period truths and maybe you’ll think twice about saying something rude.

Yes, my cramps are actually that bad.

Contrary to popular belief that a woman’s cramps “can’t really be that bad”, they are and can consistently be a savage attack on our insides. If my lower abdomen feels like I’m being punched in the gut repeatedly while a baby beluga flip flops on my lower back, chances are, I’m not going to be in the best mood wearing my biggest smile, am I?

No, I actually can’t control my hormones- my brain chemistry is literally messed up.

I loathe when people can’t comprehend the way my brain chemicals stew themselves into the mind of a rabid panther, eager and thirsty to pounce on any and everything that gets in the way of feeling like me again. I don’t enjoy feeling emotional, crying at everything or yelling about everything under the sun, but it’s literally how a period works for many women. Some women have tamer symptoms, or the really good pills. All I have is me against me in my brain, and any asshole who attempts to cross me or poke mama bear during my lady time.

My uterus is punishing me for not growing a baby.

Every month I go through the same crap, and it’s been this way for over twenty damn years. Wouldn’t you be tired, too? My body puts me through a hurricane of emotions every month to remind me that I’m not having a baby. It’s super fun!- said no woman ever.

My current urge to have a nervous breakdown turns into a blood flood in my nickers- give me a break.

If the tone of my voice or the way I react to your idiocy offends you, you should see what actually happens to my vagina when the dragon starts breathing her fire from my uterus. As they say, you can’t trust a species that bleeds every month for a week and doesn’t die- and you certainly shouldn’t judge one for being a bitch because of it either.

The world really needs to give us ladies a few days off for this crap.

Some women go through hell once a month to the point that having professional conversations or trying to maintain the perfect harmony in her relationships is a seriously defeating task. We can’t all be perfect all the time, and we also don’t have the luxury of hiding from society during the dark days of crimson tides. So until personal period dates are mandated across the globe, keep your opinions to yourselves and grin and bear it like we do.

I’m genetically programmed to go haywire once a month- I can’t help it.

To put it simply, women were given a pretty crappy hand when it comes to that time of the month. While having a menstrual cycle is beautiful in many ways, given that it alerts our bodies to our reproductive abilities, and the fact that we can actually grow humans inside our bodies which is totally badass, it does come with its cons too. Con being, sometimes we’re unintentionally bitches. Please suck it up and move on.

I’m actually attempting to control my emotions- no, really. I am.

Being a bitch intentionally is literally the last thing on my mind while I combat the crazy swirl of emotional psychosis, internal muscle organ spasms, heightened anxiety, acne, belly bloat, and eventually bleeding like a leaky condo for days on end. Forgive me for not keeping your perfect world of perfect humans afloat while I combat my vaginal demon.

I’m trying my best to keep sane- bear with me.

The best advice I can give you is to take it with a grain of salt. It’s nothing personal. I don’t hate you. I’m not purposely trying to emulate the dragon lady- I’m just fighting my impending death. Hang in there and go get me some chocolate or a latte, please and thanks.

If you don’t have anything nice to say, please shut the f*ck up.

If all else fails, please just do the right thing and keep silent. I’m not intentionally being a bitch and my period isn’t an excuse to be a bitch- my insides are just on fire.